Assertive transportation - 6 Tips For sufficient Use

What Is assertive communication?

Assertive communication is the quality to express determined and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our possession whilst still respecting the possession of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where disagreement exists.

So why use assertive communication?

All of us use assertive behaviour at times... Quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour.

Yet being trained in assertive communication for real increases the appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us to swap old behaviour patterns for a more determined coming to life. I've found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients or even my own family) can be tantalizing and stimulating.

The advantages of assertive communication

There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:

• It helps us feel good about ourselves and others
• It leads to the improvement of mutual respect with others
• It increases our self-esteem
• It helps us accomplish our goals
• It minimises hurting and alienating other people
• It reduces anxiety
• It protects us from being taken advantage of by others
• It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life
• It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both determined and negative

There are, of course, disadvantages...

Disadvantages of assertive communication

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a salutary regard for another person's possession means that you won't always get what You want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.

What assertive communication is not...

Assertive communication is definately Not a lifestyle! It's Not a guarantee that you will get what you want. It's definately Not an appropriate style of communication with everyone, but at least it's Not being aggressive.

But it Is about choice

Four behavioural choices

There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about which style of communication you can employ. These types are:

direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing

indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing

submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic

assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous

Characteristics of assertive communication

There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

• eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity
• body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message
• gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis
• voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating
• timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact
• content: how, where and when you choose to commentary is probably more foremost than What you say

The significance of "I" statements

Part of being assertive involves the quality to appropriately express your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using "I" statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame, focuses on behaviour, identifies the corollary of behaviour, is direcdt and honest, and contributes to the increase of your relationship with each other.

Strong "I" statements have three exact elements:

• Behaviour
• Feeling
• Tangible corollary (consequence to you)

Example: "I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. I don't like having to repeat information."

Six techniques for assertive communication

There are six assertive techniques - let's look at each of them in turn.

1. Behaviour Rehearsal: which is for real practising how you want to look and sound. It is a very beneficial technique when you first want to use "I" statements, as it helps dissipate any emotion connected with an contact and allows you to accurately recognize the behaviour you wish to confront.

2. Repeated Assertion (the 'broken record'): this technique allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting and irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. To most effectively use this technique use calm repetition, and say what you want and stay focused on the issue. You'll find that there is no need to report this technique, and no need to 'hype yourself up' to deal with others.

Example:

"I would like to show you some of our products"
"No thank you, I'm not interested"
"I for real have a great range to offer you"
"That may be true, but I'm not interested at the moment"
"Is there person else here who would be interested?"
"I don't want any of these products"
"Okay, would you take this brochure and think about it?"
"Yes, I will take a brochure"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"

3. Fogging: this technique allows you to receive commentary comfortably, without getting anxious or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need to reply the criticism, agree that there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge of your selection of action. An example of this could be, "I agree that there are probably times when I don't give you answers to your questions.

4. Negative enquiry: this technique seeks out commentary about yourself in close relationships by prompting the expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication. To use if effectively you need to listen for requisite comments, clarify your understanding of those criticisms, use the data if it will be helpful or ignore the data if it is manipulative. An example of this technique would be, "So you think/believe that I am not interested?"

5. Negative assertion: this technique lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behaviour or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, this also reduces your critics' hostility. You should accept your errors or faults, but not apologise. Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agree with hostile commentary of your negative qualities. An example would be, "Yes, you're right. I don't always listen intimately to what you have to say."

6. Workable compromise: when you feel that your self-respect is not in question, think a workable compromise with the other person. You can always business transaction for your material goals unless the compromise affects your personal feelings of self-respect. However, if the end goal involves a matter of your self-worth and self-respect, There Can Be No Compromise. An example of this technique would be, "I understand that you have a need to talk and I need to desist what I'm doing. So what about meeting in half an hour?"

Conclusion

Assertiveness is a beneficial communication tool. It's application is contextual and it's not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Remember, your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.

There's also no guarantee of success, even when you use assertive communication styles appropriately.

"Nothing on earth can stop the private with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; nothing on earth can help the private with the wrong mental attitude" W.W. Ziege